A white therapist working out what it means to be white.

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Do white people talk about being white?

It’s a serious question. I don’t want to assume or make sweeping generalizations. So I’m asking: white friends, are we talking with one another about race? About racism? And not just talking about race, are we coming together to understand… Continue Reading →

Aunt Jemima

“I just don’t understand why it’s a big deal. Why does taking the picture or the name off of a bottle matter?” He asked. My brother and I were talking about a syrup bottle. One that we had seen at… Continue Reading →

“Thank God we have life insurance.”

My husband said these words as we talked about George Floyd’s murder. It’s a response he’s come to know well. We are keenly aware of the numbers of black & brown bodies that meet their end at the hands of… Continue Reading →

White Guilt.

I’ve written before about being frozen by big feelings in the face of overt racism (see post N _ _ _ _ r Lover). I talked about how shame, sadness and most of all fear, can take over so that… Continue Reading →

Unity

This week, as we were watching the second impeachment trial of Donald Trump, someone on the screen called the January 6th insurrection “Un-American.” “Is it really Un-American, though?” my 10 year old responded. At age 10, he perceived it well…. Continue Reading →

A New Year.

Saying goodbye to a year where, for much of it, we found ourselves restricted to only a few spaces, has me thinking about the ways place shapes identity. How do the places we find ourselves, shape who we are? Before… Continue Reading →

Whiteness at the polls

Not long ago our family visited the North Carolina state house and we meandered through an empty and majestic building. Wonder filled my kids’ faces and enthusiasm their voices as we took in the beauty and learned about all that… Continue Reading →

What I mean when I say Black Lives Matter

This week the cops who killed Breonna Taylor were not held responsible and another call for justice went unanswered. I want to scream, “Black Lives Matter!” and it miraculously result in change. Only, it seems no matter how loud the… Continue Reading →

Desperation

My white friends, I am writing from a place of desperation, of sadness and of fear. My family – black husband, brown kids and white me – is losing hope in the policing system and we aren’t the only ones;… Continue Reading →

N * * * * r Lover.

“N****r lover.” He said it as I was exiting the building and he – an older white man – was entering. I froze. My arms were full – an infant in one and a small hand holding onto the other…. Continue Reading →

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