A white therapist working out what it means to be white.

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N * * * * r Lover.

“N****r lover.” He said it as I was exiting the building and he – an older white man – was entering. I froze. My arms were full – an infant in one and a small hand holding onto the other…. Continue Reading →

Freedom.

July 4th is complicated for my Kenyan, American, black, brown and white family. First, it’s my birthday and my kids seem to think grownups don’t have birthdays – there’s an interesting discussion. Second, I’m conflicted about July 4th. While I… Continue Reading →

Talking race, racism & multi-raced family

Watch it here https://youtu.be/T0Rf_Zn6MOM

What I mean when I talk about Whiteness

What is whiteness? It’s hard for me to define. Especially since most of my racial learning, as a white person in the US, meant mastering ways to ignore it. So far, the best answer I can give is that whiteness… Continue Reading →

Happy Juneteenth!

Today our family celebrates freedom. We dance and sing because of emancipation for black enslaved people and to salute the autonomy of all humans. The 1863 declaration not only freed people; no more slavery mandated there also be a different… Continue Reading →

Whiteness is ruining my life.

My white friends, I am not sure what whiteness has told or might be telling you about life, but I’ve learned there’s something about whiteness that seems bent on destroying it. Whiteness has a history of this. It is this… Continue Reading →

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